Those of you who bother to download our Music That Matters podcasts know that John likes to make fun of me. He also makes fun of me on the air. And that’s fine with me. I can take a joke. If I couldn’t take a joke, John wouldn’t make fun of me. If there is anything positive I can say about John it’s that he’s not a mean person. But what I take issue with are things that are not true. Here are some things that are true about me, that are very easy to make fun of:
1. I am going bald
2. I am a little too into the Simpsons
3. I am not good with women
4. I was Santa at the Yule Benefit and I was really that hammered
5. My beard is pretty weak
And these are just the first few things that come to mind. I’m sure there are a ton of things that I’m missing. Does John call me baldy? No. Does he openly wonder why I only show up at KEXP events with dudes? No. Not at all. He makes shit up!! And that’s what chaps my ass. Let’s get this straight: I have never in my life played Dungeons & Dragons. In fact, I’m sure John knows more about the game than I do. I’m not saying I’m not a geek. But I’m just not THAT kind of geek.
I am also not a drunk. The Yule Benefit notwithstanding, I drink in moderation. In fact, John has never seen me drunk because he always leaves shows early to go to bed. Even on the weekends. Yes, it’s true that I ask Cheryl to bring me tequila on her frequent trips to Mexico, but that’s because Petron is ridiculously expensive. And it’s not like any of you send me the occasional bottle of Don Julio. So what’s a man to do.
I also take issue with him referring to my dog as “the devil dog”. He is a very sweet dog. But John’s son Arlie is afraid of him. So John makes him out to be a mean dog. In fact, during a recent pledge drive a volunteer was
afraid of my dog because of John’s near-constant fabrications. And my dog is a PUG!! He’s tiny. How could anyone be afraid of a pug? It’s like being afraid of ice cream or pillows…there is nothing inherently scary about a pug.
So the next time you hear John badmouthing the KEXP webmaster you’ll know that there are two sides to every story.