Three Imaginary Girls make their picks!

3girlsmod.jpgThe whole retro-show concept is both intriguing and creepy. So when it comes to shows like this week’s Journey/Def Leppard extravaganza at the White River Amphitheater, it’s best to be aware of your intent before proceeding to the (scary corporate) rock arena.

Why go see two bands that are clearly past their prime? Are you going out of nostalgia for the good old days? Do you love the tunes and want to sing along and air guitar? Or are you there to mock the attendees? In our humble imaginary opinion, the best way to take on a rockfest like this is to bring equal parts music fan earnestness and ironic detachment to the show.

Too much earnestness, and it’s likely that your heart will be broken by 1) the potbellies and receding hairlines on at least half the performers; 2) the disappointment in only hearing your favorite album tracks in the unavoidable “medley” section of the show; 3) the fact that you may realize that you’ve grown old and sad, and your best days have long since passed.

Too much irony, and it’s likely you’ll regret having paid the $32-$90 ticket price because 1) you’ll spend three hours waiting to hear “Don’t Stop Believin” amid the other songs that you don’t know/don’t remember/blocked from your subconscious once you discovered KEXP; 2) you might encounter your teacher/parent/former babysitter at the show; 3) there’s only so many times you can roll your eyes and phone the fashion police.

We’ve worked out a minor Cosmo-style survey that might help you resolve whether or not this show is for you.

AM I TOO EARNEST?
Score yourself one point for each of the following questions you say YES to: {answers here}

  1. Were you supporting a Steve Perry haircut or Joe Elliot Union Jack t-shirt in any of your elementary/middle/high school yearbook photos?
  2. Can you remember where you were when you heard the drummer for Def Leppard lost his arm?
  3. Do you know the drummer for Def Leppard’s name?
  4. Can you remember what year both Journey’s Frontiers and Def Leppard’s Pyromania released?
  5. Do you know which band Journey evolved from?
  6. Do you know what insect was featured in the artwork of all the 70s and 80s released Journey records?
  7. What does the Wheel in the Sky do?
  8. Bonus question: Do you know which Def Leppard or Journey song igDana loves to karaoke?

If you can answer YES to over half those questions, you are at risk of approaching this show with too much earnestness. But if that doesn’t bother you, then don’t change a thing. Spray up those bangs as usual, crack out the baseball sleeve stadium tour shirt, and get ready to sweat to the oldies. Look out White River, here comes 1986!

AM I TOO IRONIC?

  1. Were you born before Steve Perry launched his solo career
  2. Um, Steve Perry had a solo career?
  3. Were you born yet when Rick Allen lost his arm?
  4. Um, who’s Rick Allen?
  5. Did you first hear “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and/or “Don’t Stop Believin’” in a karaoke bar?
  6. Do you long for the day when some group wises up for the Def Leppard tribute record?
  7. Have you ever paid more than $25 for a genuine retro concert tee for either of the bands in question (or Motley Crue, Loverboy, Poison, or the Scorpions)? Score yourself a bonus point if you Bedazzled the shirt yourself.
  8. Why am I taking this stupid quiz?

If you can answer YES to over half those questions, you are at risk of approaching this show with too much irony. But if that doesn’t bother you, then don’t change a thing. Spray up those bangs as usual, crack out the baseball sleeve stadium tour shirt, and get ready to sweat to the oldies. Look out White River, here comes 2006!

hold onto that feeling,
dana, liz, char
three imaginary girls

i-pod rotation:
Lily Allen
What Made Milwaukee Famous
Patrol

(Three Imaginary Girls is a Seattle-based website that showcases the great music of the Northwest to music lovers worldwide. We post a Seattle live show calendar to help you fill your day-planner with loads of great shows as well as album and film reviews. igDana might have been an obsessive Journey fan back in the day.)

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6 Comments

  1. KEXP
    Posted August 25, 2006 at 10:59 am | Permalink

    This is so AWESOME in so many different AWESOME ways! I know this phenomenon too well! I had to battle some serious demons in 1995 and again in ’98 when Jimmy Page and Robert Plant toured as “Page & Plant.” I actually graduated from high school in 1998, so it was at the height of my Led Zeppelin bootleg obsession... To this day, between me and my boy Kris, I maintain we have one of the finest collections of Zep boots in the world. We saw show after show after show and were WAY TOO EARNEST! Same setlist every night... Pretty much the same solos, etc... 17 years old, we made signs to pay homage to our gods... In ’98, we were actually in the 10th row at Madison Square Garden in New York. At one point Robert saw our signs, came over, smiled at us and clapped. He went and got Jimmy and Jimmy put his hands together and bowed to us! Jesus, I thought I’d reached the top. From that point forward life would never be as exciting or fulfilling... Man, way too earnest, but we rocked... Way hard. Maybe not as hard as that picture of Dana, but we were close! - Andrew

  2. Posted August 25, 2006 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    I want to see proof!! Surely you have a photo from such a momentous life event...

    Here I am on my way to see Def Leppard...

    Pony up, Andrew!

    ;)
    d.

  3. Posted August 25, 2006 at 12:07 pm | Permalink

    Oh man, I have the most radtastic Scorpions shirt ever. It cost a whole $2.00 from Savers in SoCal. It’s got the bitchin’ scorpion logo on the front and a giant map of Texas on the back! Oh yeah --- it was from their Back in Texas tour of ’85.

    It’s flippin’ sweet. You are jealous, I know.

  4. Posted August 25, 2006 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    I *AM* jealous. And I’m sad that the image link for my Def Leppard show outfit didn’t work.

    Here it is: http://www.threeimaginarygirls.com/DanaDenise.jpg

  5. Posted August 25, 2006 at 4:21 pm | Permalink

    Oh my goodness...that’s amazing.

  6. Posted August 25, 2006 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

    I know, you’re jealous of my big bad belt, aren’t you... :)

2 Trackbacks

  1. [...] The Divorce/Sirens Sister {album release}/Siberian, Crocodile {Saturday, 9/16} igDana was first introduced to Seattle’s Sirens Sister during a particular fierce early-MTV-cheesy-music-video-jag. (We suspect this obsession might have been prompted in no small part by grief over not attending the Journey/Def Leppard show a couple weeks back). It started a bit more credibly with Echo and the Bunnymen and the earliest U2 video ever, but then quickly disintegrated into a quest for the best 80s atrocity video ever. Hours passed with Rick Springfield and his futuristic-robot-penta-eyed-sax-playing monsters, a fantastic keytar, and our personal favorite — the career-ending, self-love prancing of Billy Squier… WPvideo 1.02 [...]

  2. [...] What does all of this have to do with the Sirens Sister show? igDana was first introduced to Seattle’s Sirens Sister during a particularly fierce early-MTV-cheesy-music-video-jag. (We suspect this obsession might have been prompted in no small part by grief over not attending the Journey/Def Leppard show a couple weeks back). It started a bit more credibly with Echo and the Bunnymen and the earliest U2 video ever… WPvideo 1.02 [...]

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