photo by Gregory A. Perez
We’re raising money for KEXP with an online auction. There’s still time to bid on plenty of items around the station including the hottest female overnight dj: ME! (Please note just because I’m the only female overnight dj now doesn’t downplay my hotness. Just imagine what those heffers in commercial radio look like under the lights.) Hurry though I’m only available until Friday, 17th.
Staying up all night is difficult enough even when you’re out late drinking with friends, threatening to ring the bar bell with the sign reading “Ringing this Bell Means You Are Buying a Drink for Everyone in This Bar” and then retreating home alone.
Imagine it’s 3am and you’re in a small building all alone. Confined to a room alone. Once you’re inside that’s it. Lockdown. I’m surrounded by a hodgepodge of techie music gear I have yet to learn the inner workings of. It reminds me of the TV series “Lost” where the characters had to enter a numeric code on the computer â€“ in a brainwashed kinda way â€“ or else something bad will happen. At KEXP I just know I have to play great non-stop, commercial-free music for 5 hours, until John comes in at 6am and says I can go home. Alone.
I hear things in the halls sometimes and haunting voices from the local band cd section beckon me but I’ll save it for my next blog. Maybe when they auction off my sanity (or is it insanity?).
Knowing someone “owns” me will keep me going through the night more than our coffeemaker ever could. We have a working coffeemaker again so I will be fully caffeinated as well.
What does “ownership” mean to you? One friend (someone I know, not someone off the street, mind you) asked me what would I do for $52, the highest bid at the time. Then said it would be cheaper to buy me a bottle of Grey Goose. Not sure what he was implying.
Not many people know I’m big in Europe. I’ve requested it on my KEXP business cards but have yet to see that phrase printed on them. I encourage hot male European listeners/bands to try and “win” me but I’m not picky. ; ) I will throw in a free trip for me to visit your country. Though I can’t promise I will meet you in person on that trip. I will also include a webcam so you can watch me do my radio show. You can listen to your choice of me or The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” on repeat as I push buttons and racks.
I want bragging rights. Something to put on my resume and for my mom to pull out at parties. You can brag as well. Especially for having amazing taste in the best radio station in the world. ?
This is my auction shelf life and it’s ending one minute at a time. Precisely at 9:45am on the 17th.
Please. Please. I beg you. I’m worth it.